Lawyering Through Life

Going Lawya On Ya

So apparently we aren't the only ones with a distaste for the life of a modern lawyer. At least TWICE in the past week, I have heard stories of people losing it, due solely to the rigors of law firm life. I mean, losing it. (I wonder if anyone has ever done a study on how many attorneys require counseling, medication, or a looney bin to sort out the feelings of guilt, anxiety and failure that, in my experience, are inevitable in BFL.)

I know one guy whose near perfect marriage is now on the rocks, because his wife, a non-lawyer, does not understand what he's going through. Not only does she not understand, but she BLAMES him for being so absent. I know multiple attorneys who have lost (or gained) massive amounts of weight in short periods of time due solely to the stress of the job. Almost all BFL's I know are pale, gaunt and hollow-eyed. It is a sad, sad life.

That is why I love getting emails like the one Jersey forwarded me this morning, from a friend of a friend. It was sent yesterday...to the "bigwigs" in a Big city firm:


I am writing this on my cell phone, inside of a Greyhound bus on my way out of town. It's a beautiful day, though a little chilly. I am glad to be free of the old 'dungeon' once and for all. The 'dungeon' - hundreds of temp and contract attorneys and legal assistants have passed through Swank Law Firm over the past few years, and most of us will always associate our time on the first floor with some medieval torture room.

This is to inform you of my resignation which is effective immediately. I have done nothing whatsoever to assist in the smooth transfer of my responsibilities before leaving, nor have I given notice. This firm treats people like commodities (at least on the first floor). Thus I will treat you as a commodity, reflecting the proper nature of business on the first floor. I leave without warning and in the middle of several important projects. Thanks for the money bitches. I am finished with your greedy, lazy, manipulative, and outright vicious work "ethic." I am done with the Elvis billing scam. I am done with Second in Command’s bi-polar disorder. I am done with ignorant people who do not have enough sense to provide a decent working environment and stable jobs for their employees.

My absence will not affect much of the day-to-day operations. I am replaceable, as everyone is. But so is this firm. I won't even bother putting the past two years and two months on my resume. Two years and two months of grueling, boring 60-90 hour weeks, begging for raises, being publicly humiliated on a regular basis, threatened with being fired if I worked less than 84 hours a week (as everyone on the first floor is currently being threatened with), and watching normal, sane and good people crack up one by one. I have communicated my concerns to individuals on the third and fourth floors since [previous employee]’s departure. I have not seen a single change. I am much happier going back to the life of a starving artist than slaving for you assholes.

I came to work here expecting to find possible entry into law school. I want nothing to do with lawyers ever again.

I pray to God that you rot in hell.


Maybe some day soon, children across the land will talk about "going lawya on ya"...

posted by jersey @ 10:14 AM