Lawyering Through Life

So Much to Say

I really do have a lot to say. I haven't written a post of substance in a few weeks now and I want to sit down and spend some time with my thoughts. First, I will try and catch everyone up on the latest happenings.

Key West was fabulous. What a fun town! Downtown Key West has super cute shops and restaurants as well as ridiculously fun bars. The weather was gorgeous and I really relaxed. As in full body deep breaths and let go of my worries relaxed. My sister and I were tame compared to some of the crazies that were out and about. But it worked for us. We found this fabulous Irish bar with an obnoxious guitar player that kept us laughing for two straight nights. He actually chugged FIVE Guinnesses. In a ROW. Yes, I did say FIVE, people. Granted, I've never been a chugger (I still think about the last chugging contest I lost...GRR) so I can't fathom drinking that much that quickly. But Guinness?? Watching him made me shudder. He survived though. My fair Irish skin survived through the trip with only a minor glitch. I fell asleep in the convertible on the drive from the airport and although I had taken extreme care in applying sunscreen to my face and arms, I managed to neglect my neck. Yes, I had a full on *red neck*. And only on one side. It looked good, trust me.

Upon my return from vacation, I proceeded to get sick. I managed to suffer through two days of work but had to call it quits after that. My body didn't react well to leaving sunny 80 degree weather and returning to cold, miserable, and rainy weather. I am still recovering but feeling much better, thank you.

A few boy developments...while I was in Florida, I received a text message from a boy (alias: Youngun) that I had gone out with a few times in February. I thought he was great but he was really busy with work, I kept going out of town and he just disappeared. I was disappointed, mainly because I wish guys would just come out and say Hey, I am not interested, rather than employ the I am going to pretend she doesn't exist tactic. He texted me what seemed to be a sincere apology and asked for a second chance. I was stunned. I could have very easily ignored it or responded with a bitchy this ship has sailed type comment but since that is not my style, I agreed to hear him out. If only for the sake of a good blog entry. I will keep you posted.

The Writer still has his moments. He was very sweet when I was sick and seemed to be making more of an effort to spend time with me. Until this morning when he announced he was slammed with deadlines and would be out of touch for awhile. I have sent that satellite back out to orbit until I feel like dealing with him again.
**The Editrix refers to my tangle of boys as satellites. I like the analogy. They rotate around me and when I am tired of one, I send him out and reel another one in. HA!** Plus, I was talking to a very cute attorney on Saturday night when he busted up and acted like my boyfriend. Which he is not. I need significantly more wooing for me to declare myself a one satellite girl. I don't think I am ready for a boyfriend just yet. I am not ready to fall in love again. I realize moving into the boyfriend-girlfriend stage and falling in love are not necessarily simultaneous occurrences. But I am just not ready to go down the road yet. Then I have to ask myself, is it that I don't want a boyfriend or that I don't want the Writer to be my boyfriend? Would I feel differently if I met someone else? Or should I continue this hiatus from love for a little while longer, regardless of the next guy I meet? I try not to focus on these questions and instead, focus on having fun and living my life. But I cannot dismiss the nagging feelings I am having wondering how this is going to play out for me.

This past weekend, I spent a lot of time with married girls. Well, married and engaged girls. These are women that are my best friends from college and I am deeply happy that they have found their life partners. I felt out of place though at many times during the weekend because our lives are so different. My friends swapped diamond rings, discussed houses, debated having kids while working, giggled over who goes to bed first....all relationship issues. *We* was the most common pronoun employed by my friends. Often, I was downright envious that so many of my friends had found what I am still myself seeking. How come it happens to one girl at 23 but here I am at 27 and no farther along than I was four years ago?

All of the questions plaguing me, about love and finding it for myself, are questions without answers. Well, there are answers but I must wait patiently as I journey through life and discover the answers.

Unfortunately, patience is NOT my strong suit.

posted by jersey @ 9:15 AM