Lawyering Through Life

Just Friends

I have this *friend*, Evan B., from back in the Jerz. I emphasize the word friend because we have an interesting friendship. We became good friends the summer before we left for our respective colleges. EB was heading up to CT and I was taking the plunge and heading down south (a move that, he told me later, changed me dramatically and not all for the better). He wanted to start running and I had run throughout high school so we started spending our evenings together running. That summer, we forged a bond that years later, despite our ups and downs, has kept us close.

Our friendship was on hiatus for awhile because sometimes male-female friendships get complicated. I still can’t answer the age-old question of whether men and women can be just friends. I honestly believe it is tricky business. I used to have a great guy friend, Wayne, that was my roommate for over 2 years. We were inseperable. He was hands down my closest friend while we were living together. I think one of the keys to our friendship was that we were both single. He knew that he was the most important guy in my life and he made me feel like I was the most important girl in his. Then, I started dating TH, coincidentally our other roommate and Wayne’s best friend from high school. Then Wayne started dating someone and our friendship fell by the wayside. Now, that I am no longer with TH, I never see Wayne anymore. Friendships, just like other relationships, require work and effort to be maintained. I think fundamentally women are better at maintaining friendships than men. Feel free to disagree with me but my experience has convinced me this is true.

Okay, back to EB. Our friendship is currently *on again*. And although he drives me absolutely crazy at times, I know that he will always be there for me. When TH and I first started having problems, one of the people I turned to was EB. Insight into the male psyche proves critical during relationship woes. Through tears, I gave EB the details and what he said to me was the best advice I could receive. (as an aside, I didn’t take EB’s advice right away…although it was genius). You see, EB and TH have an awful lot in common. Both have a deep seeded fear of commitment, both want what they can’t have and both care about me a great deal (each in their own way). Thankfully, EB showed his feelings for me by giving me advice about kicking TH to the curb and never letting him back in my life again. It took a few months for the advice to really stick but I finally relented and am doing as I was told by my oldest friend.

All this background about EB is simply to set up the email exchange we had earlier this morning. He is living it up as a NYC playboy...okay, *playboy* might be a bit of a stretch but he is enjoying his life as a single guy in the big city. He told me recently of a girl named Nancy he was pursuing. Immediately, I recalled the mystery novels I pored through while in the 6th grade and dubbed this new love interest Nancy Drew. This past weekend, EB had plans to be severely intoxicated so I inquired this morning as to how things went with Nancy Drew:

Jersey: hope you survived your saturday drinking fest. was nancy drew there? has she found the secret entrance to the pirate's cave?
EB: I’ve moved past nancy drew. no return on the emotional investment. got some others in the queue, but nothing serious. saturday was a mess. absolute mess.
Jersey: i love that you just called it 'the queue'.
EB:i thought the English spin would dress it up nicer than saying, I got some other bitches I’m working on.

Ladies, if you would like to reserve a place in line for EB's affections, feel free to email me and I will pass along your stats to EB. Oh, EB, thank you for that much needed laugh.

posted by jersey @ 1:41 PM