Lawyering Through Life

Girlfriends

I referenced my friends in an earlier post because a few of them were in town to bid farewell to the Editrix's singlehood. As I sat at dinner surrounded by some of my nearest and dearest, I thought how incredibly lucky I am to have so many wonderful female friends.

I was not that lucky in high school. I went to an all girls Catholic school. I was not cool in high school. Not even remotely. I had what I thought was a solid group of friends but I soon realized that our friendships were based on our shared desires to study hard, earn good grades, attend a well-known college and basically, step on each other along the way if necessary to accomplish those goals. Once we left the hallowed halls we had attended, nothing remained to bind us together.

There were approximately 160 girls in my graduating class. One could gain the most insight into the social dynamic of my high school by wandering through the cafeteria at lunchtime. My high school had three brother schools and dispersed throughout the cafeteria were tables of girls affiliated with each high school: the BC girls, hands down the most exclusive of all lunch tables and whose table I didn’t dare approach even though I tutored a girl in chemistry who sat at the table, the DB girls and the SJ girls. The BC girls were mostly blonde and gorgeous, they were the stars of the tennis and soccer teams, and, to be frank, they were rather bitchy. The DB girls played basketball and softball and were involved in student government. The SJ girls were the cheerleaders and performed in the school musical. The DB and SJ girls knew that they were not at the top of the social pyramid, so those two groups settled for vying for second best to the BC girls. From what I picked up in high school, the BC boys were the best looking of our three brother schools and to date a BC boy meant you had *arrived*. As a tremendously awkward and skinny girl with braces, knowing which brother school had the best looking boys seemed unimportant. No boy, regardless of his high school’s reputation, looked twice at me.

Tucked into the back corner of the lunchroom was my table. I sat with the other girls who were at the top of our class. Rather than discuss boys or clothes, we spent our lunch hours cramming for a possible surprise quiz in Western Civilization or comparing our answers to our Physics homework. We pored over our reading assignments for the tenth time just to make sure we knew every answer. We quizzed each other on the week’s vocabulary words and tried to have entire conversations in Spanish. Everything was about competition. The entire lunchroom knew we were at the top of the class…other girls would stop by our table to find out the details of an afternoon homework assignment and we could each recite it without opening our agendas. We were the girls to borrow notes from, ask for help or seek out as lab partners. The only time I ever felt *popular* in high school was my junior year Chemistry class when one of the BC girls, the only one in Honors Chem, nearly tripped over her backpack to ask me to her lab partner.

I left high school with very few friends. I quickly lost touch with the few I had upon my arrival at Wake Forest. I wondered if I would ever have meaningful friendships because I was so unsure as to how to make friends. I thought I had the capacity to be a good friend to other girls but I struggled as to how to establish a solid foundation for a friendship. These concerns…well, they turned out to be for naught. As I look back over the last ten years of my life, I realize how fortunate I am in the girlfriend department. Throughout my four years at Wake Forest, I cultivated friendships with incredible women who truly cared about me. You all know Belle and what a wonderful person she is. She is truly an amazing friend. There are also my Rosedale girls. Each one has a wonderful gift to offer me: when I want a sympathetic ear, there is the Editrix with her understanding smile, when I need wise words, there is Haley with her practical advice, and when I just need someone to make me smile through my tears, there is Mrs. DW with her perfect balance of wit and wisdom. Without these women, the last four months of my life would have been unbearable.

After college, I continue to be blessed with new friends. My law school girls are some of the most amazing girls I’ve ever met. There is the Librarian who refused to let law school beat her down, there is Lil AG who has grown so much in the past few months from timid law student to a confident and kick ass in court lawyer, and, AKM, with whom I share so much more than love for Jack Bauer. She has inspired me to hold fast to my idealistic beliefs, no matter what criticism I encounter. Without these three girls, law school (and the year immediately following) would have been a lot more painful and lot less fun.

And of couse, there is Roommate who has taught me to never settle. Not at work, not in love, not ever. I still don’t know how she and I became friends but I can’t imagine my life without her in it. I cannot neglect the more recent friends I’ve made through the sweatshop, E and MA, who hovered protectively around me while I cried my eyes out, comforting me with their kind words and assuring me that there were better things in store for me. For a work friend to sleep on your couch just so you don’t have to be alone…well, that is when you no longer have just a work friend.

I guess this is simply an ode to my friends. I have been blessed with so many wonderful women in my life…my mom and my sister, who have been with me since the beginning and for whom I can’t even begin to express my love and gratitude, my college friends who taught me the true meaning of friendship, my law school girls, who loved me despite my bar neurosis, and all my other friends, who may not fit neatly into a category but have found a perfect fit in my life.

I hope everyone is as lucky as I am to have such wonderful friends. I recognize my good fortune, which is perhaps what inspired me to write this in the first place. I hope all my friends know that *I* am the lucky one for having them in my life. So, thanks to my friends who read this. Thanks for listening, for understanding, for holding me as I cry, for making me laugh, for dispensing advice, for biting your tongue when it must have been so hard, for answering your cell phones, and for being the best friends a girl could ask for.

posted by jersey @ 3:36 PM