Lawyering Through Life

See, it does happen

Love, that is. Well, not that I ever doubted its existence. I just sometimes doubt love's willingness to happen to *me*. And, no, it has not happened to me. I am currently seeing two guys but I think it would be a stretch for me to say that I like either one. Well, I like them both, but am unclear as to whether I *like like* either of them. Sometimes, the sixth grade terminology is the most appropriate.

The only thing better than love happening to you is hearing about love happening to a friend. And sometimes you want love to happen to someone else even more than you want it to happen to you. That is how I feel about my friend Charlotte. She has endured more than her fair share of heartbreak. And, to top it all off, she has been ready and willing to get married since....well, since forever. She can't wait to just be married, have babies and be happy. Watching our college friends march before her down the aisle has been tough. She has played the role of bridesmaid in at least 10 weddings. Maybe more. She grew up in a small town in the South where everyone knows everyone else's business. When she goes home, no one in her town asks her about her fabulous job or her adorable townhouse that she purchased herself. The most often asked question she hears: Seeing anyone?. For the past few years, Charlotte's answer has been a frustrated *no*, more of a barely audible grunt through clenched teeth, than an actual answer.

Unfortunately for Charlotte, love is not something that occurs on a timetable, whether that timetable is yours or your mother's, love is not something that we can force, and it is sadly not something easily found, even when we are earnestly looking for it. Love happens when one is not looking, when one least expects it and oftentimes, when one has decided to completely write love off...then BAM, love shows up.

A few months ago, Charlotte and I were discussing being the single girl amongst a group of marrieds. I detected a change in her attitude towards being single. Charlotte's past experiences had left her somewhat jaded and bitter - when she received a wedding invitation, she would mutter "stupid happy people" as she added the invite to her already covered refrigerator door. But, as of a few months ago, Charlotte had turned a corner. She told me that she loved her life - she had a great job, great friends, her family was healthy and while she did not want to be single forever, she was tired of focusing her life on the one thing she wanted but didn't have. She had reached a peace with being single that I hadn't heard in her voice since....well, frankly, I am not sure she has ever been at peace with being single.

You can guess what happens next. BAM. New Guy moves to town. Charlotte falls hard. New Guy falls equally hard. They just spent Easter weekend with Charlotte's family in her crazy little hometown. They attended church with just about everyone that lives in town. New Guy loves crazy little hometown. And Charlotte's family. Charlotte is thrilled. As in over the moon, deliriously happy, only uses exclamation points for punctuation regardless of the sentence, thrilled. And I couldn't be happier for her.

posted by jersey @ 12:10 PM