Lawyering Through Life

Square One

So, I have a date tonight. A nice boy is coming to my apartment and we are having dinner. I am cooking, because I love to cook. My Arlington crowd is going to happy hour tonight at a bar a few blocks from my house. My roommate organized said happy hour and invited TH. She had to invite him - he is a friend of her boyfriend's and well, we are all one happy go lucky group of friends, right?? Riiight.

Roommate just emailed me to say have fun on my date. She encouraged me to bring Youngun, my date, to happy hour because word on the street is that TH won't be attending.

And that one little sentence sends me off on a dizzying spiral of analysis. Why isn't he going? Is it because he has plans with his girlfriend? Is it because he thinks I will be there? He didn't reply to any of the group emails all day today so how does she know he isn't attending? Did he email her directly? And why do I still care? It has been almost four months since we broke up. And I am dating other people. So, where does this almost debilitating desire to ask impossible questions come from? And how do I make it stop?

I've tried so hard to not think about him. I have spent the better portion of the last almost 40 days focused on myself. I smile more, I laugh more, I honestly believe I look and feel better than I did a little over a month ago. I am healing. Right?

posted by jersey @ 5:15 PM