Lawyering Through Life

Weekend, Part 1

Friday night, I had dinner and drinks with my good friend, Red. When she and I get together, we have the best of intentions. *Let's just meet for a drink* is how the conversation begins. Five hours later and three pitchers, we stumble out of our neighborhood haunt. This past Friday was no exception. We scored a cozy booth along the bar with an attentive waiter and in earshot of the band. We recognized that tonight would be one of *those nights*. We observed the singles scene around us and made some keen observations. At the booth behind me sat two guys. My back was to them so Red narrated as a girl strolled up to their table, motioned for one guy to shove over and joined them. We debated whether or not she knew them until we finally decided that she did not. And we were impressed! Red and I are both friendly and outgoing but that kind of brazen behavior blew our minds. Oh, and it totally worked. Well, it *worked* in that they left together.

Back at our table, Red and I managed to attract some of our own friends. One guy sat down with us solely to get out of the way of the waiter and planned to leave after the waiter passed. Well, the problem was that he had caught our eye earlier because he was carrying a man purse. That looked totally empty!! Red and I brainstormed things that could have filled it up at one time - I surmised he used the bag to carry his lunch. So, it was all over for him once he sat down with us. We HAD to get to the bottom of the man purse and we barraged him with questions. What was in it? (I was right - he had his lunch in it earlier today) Why did you bring it to the bar? Don't you feel like you are carrying a man purse? Why don't you keep your wallet in it? Why do you look like Eminem in your ID but not in real life? (Apparently, there had been a hair dying incident) Do you have a book in there? (Bad question to ask - he had some French philosophy book in his man purse and he tried to read us a passage out of it). He finally excused himself and we continued to watch his man purse move around the bar. Men carry briefcases, messenger bags, and backpacks. Men do not carry what amounts to a glorified fanny pack.

We had another funny encounter shortly after Man purse guy left. Red and I were leaning against the wall, lounging in our booth, when a guy stopped right in front of me. He leaned in towards me, put his hands in a mock frame around my face and said, in all seriousness, "I must know your name." Now, I am relatively comfortable with my looks. I am far from drop dead gorgeous but I clean up okay. But, this was just too much. I caught myself before I laughed in his face and replied, in an equally dramatic tone, "My name is Jersey." He let out a huge sigh of relief, shook my hand and said "Thank you. I just needed to know."

That was it. I mean, for an opening line, it was pretty creative. And I thought I gave him what he wanted! But, he moved on, probably because his friends standing behind him, looked absolutely mortified. The picture framing of my face was a little over the top but really? How is one supposed to start talking to someone at a bar? I can usually squeak out a greeting but after that, I tend to either stare blankly at the person or launch into nervous chatter. I should really work on that.

Saturday morning came rather quickly after the events of Friday night and I pulled myself together to go to a food bank in the District. After a few hours of packing hygiene products for homeless people, I felt the craziness of Friday catching up to me. I snuck into church a few minutes late on Saturday night and quickly remembered why I didn't enjoy the Saturday night mass. The Cantor (just to be clear, that is the person who leads us in song)!! Now, I can't carry a tune and only sing audibly in three places - my car, the shower and church. I find the Saturday evening cantor a bit of a narcissist. He seems to prefer hearing himself sing (and yes, he has a significantly better voice than me) and allows the congregation to join only for the refrains of some songs. I felt jipped. So, I sang a few of the verses of the Communion song against his instructions. Unfortunately, no one else dared to defy the Cantor and since I can't even stand to hear myself sing, I didn't last long.

Ok, I have more thoughts swirling around in my brain, I promise. Unfortunately, this is my last week of work so I feel my productivity should be higher than usual. So, back to work. For now.

posted by jersey @ 12:29 PM