Lawyering Through Life

Values

Pardon yesterday's lovey dovey post. Back to your regular scheduled programming of my disastrous, yet oh so entertaining, life.

The Writer is out. Officially. I kept talking to him because he was nice, funny, and smart. And we had a good time together. No more! I had dinner with the Mix last night, a friend of mine from college. After dinner, I checked my voicemail and I had a message from the Writer, asking me to call him before 7 p.m. because there is something he wanted to talk about it. Uh oh, me thinks. Very few positive things happen after a boy tells me he wants to talk. It is a few minutes before 7 so I call him as I walk to the metro. We shoot the shit for a few minutes and he asks if I have time to talk. I replied that since I was standing on the corner of 17th and Eye that perhaps now was not the best time but he was weirding me out so I wanted to hear what he had to say.

Writer: "I think we should stop seeing each other."
awkward pause
Jersey: "Okay..."
another awkward pause
W: "It has nothing to do with my attraction to you because I really enjoy hanging out with you."
J: "Okay...so what does it have to do with?"
W: "I just think we have different values."
yet another awkward pause. this one is pretty long so I look at my phone and discover he has hung up on me! He then calls back but is not there when I answer. I contemplate throwing my phone under the metro bus that is about to run me over. Finally, he calls, I answer and I can hear him.

W: "Sorry about that...my phone is not getting good reception in my apartment."
J: "Okay..." (I know, I am quite the conversationalist)
W: "So, as I was saying, I just think we have different values, and while perhaps it is not a problem now, it will be one down the road and so I think we should stop seeing each other before that happens."
J: "And what exactly do you mean by different values?"

I absolutely did not have to ask this question. But I couldn't resist. Our difference in values? I won't sleep with him. That is the *value* he was talking about. And, to his credit, he was honest and acknowledged that was the value he was referring to. I take that back - he gets no credit. I just remembered this entire conversation took place while I stood outside the entrance to the Farragut West metro.

I took issue with his word choice. Values? The word *value* has a judgmental connotation that bugs me. Perhaps I am too sensitive but when someone tells me he has different values than me, I hear a judgment in that statement. And by different, I mean my values are better is what that sounds like. I told him I disagreed with his word choice, and that *values* implies judgment. He got defensive and told me that I was just arguing semantics. Who uses the word semantics during a break up conversation? What a load of detritus.

The conversation wrapped up shortly after that. I am honestly not that upset about the whole thing. I had been thinking that perhaps casual dating, and its dramatic side effects, were a little much for me right now. I had decided to tell the Writer that I thought we should just be friends. Since he played the *values* card, I don't see any point in being friends with him.

Next!

posted by jersey @ 9:52 AM