Lawyering Through Life

Your Honor

Since I've started my new job, I have thought a lot about how fun it would be to be a judge. Wearing a black robe means people get out of your way when you walk down the hallway, lawyers defer you to in court by saying things like "As I am sure Your Honor is aware", and a person carrying a gun announces your arrival into a room. But today, I realized that I am probably not quite smart enough yet to go on the bench. I sat in court this morning for what was supposed to be a relatively short and simple hearing. 30 minutes max. After about 15 minutes of argument, I found my mind wandering. I started regretting not eating a banana before coming into court. After about 30 minutes of argument, real technical legal argument on issues I hadn't briefed, my mind was officially elsewhere. Still thinking about the banana, of course. And how I was going to make banana pudding this past weekend but didn't quite get to it. After 60 minutes of argument, the judge was grilling the expert witness and my right foot was officially asleep. And I was thinking very seriously about the banana I had in my office. I couldn't believe my foolishness in not planning ahead. Normally, I am very much on top of eating. Finally, after an hour and a half of argument, the parties wrapped it up and the judge called me back to her chambers. She clearly retained everything that the parties and witnesses had said during the hearing. I managed to string together a few coherent sentences about what had transpired. Finally, I was dismissed and I was able to enjoy my well deserved banana.

So, yeah, so not focused enough to be a judge. Yet.

posted by jersey @ 9:40 PM