Fun in the sun
Tomorrow I leave for vacation. An honest to goodness *adult* vacation. This is the first time in two years that I am leaving town for something that is not a bachelorette party, bridal shower or wedding. Seriously. Well, I did leave town to take the bar. In Roanoke. Not even remotely a vacation. And I've gone home in the last two years, obviously. Okay, maybe my initial statement should be qualified some. Due to the sheer number of weddings and all wedding related events that I have had in the past two years, I have been unable to spend my vacation days from work or my money on traveling somewhere just for fun. Weddings are expensive for more than just the parents of the bride (or whomever picks up the tab). And as a single girl, spending all your hard earned money on others' nuptials...well, frankly it gets a little old. So, I am taking a trip to Florida for FIVE whole days with my sister. Spending my hard earned money on myself! I can't wait to be lying by a pool, covered head to toe in lotion with an SPF of at least 30, reading a book or just relaxing with my thoughts.
The only thing left to do is conquer my intense fear of flying so that I can board the plane. And actually make it to Florida. I plan on getting very little sleep tonight so that I pass out on the plane and wake up in Florida.
This blogger is officially on vacation.
Low maintenance?
I have always considered myself low maintenance. I am at my most comfortable in jeans, a t-shirt, and flip-flops. My ideal night out is sharing a pitcher of beer with friends on the porch of a dive bar. Yes, I drink wine, occasionally wear heels with jeans, and enjoy pedicures. But, basically, I am a laid back, easy going type of girl. The first time the Writer and I went out, he suggested three very different places in an attempt to find out my tastes. The first a hip lounge, the second a swanky hotel bar, the third, an off the beaten path dive bar. Of course, I chose the third. The Writer took this as a sign that I am indeed a laid back, easy going type of girl. He told me that he really liked that about me. Points for me. And points for him for recognizing that laid back is the best way to be.
Well, apparently, his *read* of me convinced him that he needs to make no effort whatsoever to date me. Rather, I receive these lame invites to do things with him (well, if I get to them before he has the chance to rescind them) and I am supposed to be satisfied with that. Well, I am not. Does that mean my perception of myself as low maintenance is off? Does the fact that I would like him to make some sort of plans with me, rather than just invite me to tag along with his friends, make me demanding? I hope not. If you want to date me, then make an effort. Stop suggesting the bar around the corner from your apartment as a meeting spot. There are a million places between where I live and where he lives. Well, perhaps, I should come to terms with the fact that he just doesn't want to date me. That he is only looking to fill a *friends with benefits* type role.
Today's invitation supports this theory. I received this email this morning:
Hope you're having a good day at work. The concert last night was rockin. Me and my friend *girl's name* (and possibly my friend *boy's name* and his lady-friend) are playing quizzo at *bar around the corner from my apartment* tonight around 7pm (when it starts). There's a *slight* chance I may be late--I have a team dinner beforehand, but I'll try to be on time. How's it sound? Lasts until about 10. Ok, I consider this a crappy invitation. Does that make me high maintenance? I reminded him last night that I was going on vacation this week and would like to get together before I leave. And this is his lame a** reply. My roommate expresses rather eloquently why I should decline:
let me just note the multiple levels of tackiness...
a) gloating about the 'rockin concert' that he dis-invitited you to
b) mentioning that he's going to quizzo with another girl
c) inviting you when he knows he going to be "slightly" late
d) alluding to some 'team' function, team of what? a$$holes? So, I declined. Did I mention he is shorter than me? Consider the camel's back broken.
Tale of Two Cinderellas
I am *SO* proud of my little law school. They are going to the Final Four!! The Final Four!! A #11 seed. Is this the first time? I think it might be. Regardless, it is incredibly exciting. Even more exciting? Next time George Mason plays, this girl will be in Florida.
While my law school has found its glass slipper, I certainly have not. Boy, who will now be known as the Writer, continues to disappoint. Well, not disappoint because honestly, I have pretty low expectations for guys right now. Tonight, while in my prayer group, I received two text messages from the Writer.
The first message:
Hey, what are you up to tomorrow night? I have an extra ticket to a show at *popular District music venue*.Since I am in prayer group, I am unable to reply. Which apparently is to my disadvantage because said offer was for a limited time only.
Fifteen minutes later, the second message:
Eh, crap, I must rescind the offer, My buddy is going to take the ticket.Sigh.
Boy Tries Again
He must have sensed that I was less than thrilled with last night's exchange. Because he sent a very nice text today. As an aside, Is calling people so 2005 that no one can do it anymore?? But, I digress. On its face, it was a very nice text. He asked me if I was up for watching basketball tonight. If I wanted to meet him. After work. Well, after he goes to the gym after work. Oh, and at the bar where we met. Which is around the corner from his apartment. And a 20 minute car ride from my house. Wow, what an invitation. Really had a hard time turning that one down.
I sense myself becoming jaded. So,I will turn to happier topics. Tonight, I saw
Thank You For Smoking. In a word, HYSTERICAL. So funny. I haven't watched
The OC in months and have been missing me some Seth Cohen. Adam Brody has a delightful little part as an assistant to power agent, Rob Lowe. Those are some good looking men in the same shot. But, seriously, TYFS was a great movie. I highly recommend it. Katie Holmes was damn near unbearable in it, as a warning. I loved her as Joey but she has gone off the deep end since hooking up with that nutter Tom Cruise. My friend, Red, called him that on our way from the movie and I laughed out loud. Go see the movie. It is funny and surprisingly short. Movies have gotten WAY too long these days. I don't need to be in a movie for three hours (with the exception of Harry Potter, of course).
And, finally, this is why I despise Duke. I don't normally root for Duke. But, they are always in the tournament and I usually have them going pretty far. I thought this was their year - Redick's last stand. But those devils can't even win when I want them to! So frustrating. My bracket is officially busted. May it rest in peace.
Boy Meets Girl
A typical Saturday night out in the District. Boy sees Girl. Girl notices Boy. Boy and Girl meet. They converse. They laugh. They flirt. A connection is made. Boy asks for Girl's number. She obliges. Boy calls next day. To have lunch the next day. Girl already has plans. [Which turns out to be divine intervention - as Girl's apartment has no water and let's face it, Girl stinks.] Boy asks Girl out for drinks that week. Again, Girl obliges. Boy and Girl meet again. More conversation, laughter and flirting. Boy says all the right things. Makes Girl laugh. Really laugh, not the courtesy laugh girls often indulge their dates with. Girl thinks Boy is great, Girl is great, this is great.
Girl speaks too soon. Hasn't heard from Boy in days. Girl doesn't like to play games so Girl initiates contact. An innocent text to see how Boy's week is. Girl receives aloof reply a few hours later. Girl stares at reply for a few minutes, somewhat confused and begins to analyze reply. Girl stops, reminds herself of Lenten promise, and deletes message.
Stupid Boy.
24
I don't watch a whole lot of television. If I am home during the week, I will watch whatever is on but I don't rearrange my life for TV. With the notable exception of 24. And I don't think that makes me pathetic. Last year, I decided to take a stand against TV and scheduled my seminar during 24. I am not going to lie, it was awful. Every Monday night, I would frantically call TH and beg him to tape that night's episode. Sometimes, he would pull through but often, I would hear "I don't have any tapes. You should have told me earlier." Seriously. Almost every week of this, and then I was forced to settle for the written recaps on the Fox/24 website. Which actually aren't all that terrible. But not in the same realm as the *real thing*. So, this season, I decided to acknowledge that Jack Bauer owns me on Monday nights. No sense fighting it.
And 24 just might be the greatest television show ever made. The last few weeks have been top notch television, don't get me wrong, but the 'let's kill off everyone' strategy of the writers left me somewhat disenchanted. In the last few weeks, we lost lovable Edgar Stiles, hateable Lynn McGill and long time fan favorite Tony Almeida. And from last week's previews, things didn't look very promising for my fave, Curtis Manning. Thankfully, that was just a clever ploy by the editing folks to get me all nervous for nothing because Curtis survived last night's episode unscathed. Last night, the writers came back to the fans with full force. Two out of the blue storylines emerged that left jaws hanging open across the country - what is the VP's beef with Wayne Palmer and is Audrey Raines selling secrets to terrorists?
Ok, I know. An entire post about 24? But, seriously, greatest show ever.
Whew!
I may have survived four days of basketball but I can’t say the same for my bracket. This happens every year. I stop caring about my bracket and start cheering my heart out for the underdog. You gotta love the upsets! Yesterday, I was jumping up and down in my living room (I am sure my downstairs neighbor was thrilled) as my little law school that could, George Mason, knocked off the defending national champions, Carolina. Carolina completely underestimated GMU. Even during the game, the Carolina players never grasped what was happening. Rashawn Terry hits a big 3 pointer (mind you, the Heels are still losing) and stops to pose for the camera. Roy Williams practically hurled Terry across the half court line, as if the guy needed reminding that he should probably get back on defense. I laughed out loud. That kind of lackadaisical attitude doesn’t win championships. Maybe that is why there were so many upsets this year. The higher seeded teams just came to the tournament with more fire and hunger.
Ok, enough about basketball. Even though that is pretty much all I’ve thought about for the past four days. Friday morning, I did what every single girl loves to do. I went wedding dress shopping with my friend, MA. Now, I am not really complaining. The girl is a friend of mine from the sweatshop and no one was available to go with her. Wedding dress shopping isn’t really something one should do alone so I went with her. I actually think I am a borderline professional. I can discuss the different cuts, the waist options, the various types of fabric and I can bustle with the best of them. We went to a bridal store in Alexandria that I have actually been to three times before. The woman who was helping us actually recognized me from my last trip. She kept referring to me as “Sweet Jersey” throughout the whole experience. When we left, she gave me a hug and she tried to give me her card. Um, no thanks. I am not superstitious or anything but I am pretty sure that old saying about eggs and counting chickens would apply here.
And finally, update on my Lenten resolutions. I spent a fabulous day yesterday baking and cooking for the week. Having basketball on in the background definitely helped…I think I left my sauce on the stove for a little too long while watching Bradley eliminate Pittsburgh. Mental note: must find out where Bradley is before their next game. Wayne and I are working on repairing our friendship apart from TH so I will admit to spending some time worrying about how that would play out and overanalyzing the voicemail he left me on Saturday. He actually said that TH and I never should have dated and he knew all along this was going to happen. Well, thanks. If you weren’t willing to say that before, don’t say it now! It just makes me feel stupid. I encountered a slight hiccup last night during
The Family Guy. TH hooked me on that show and last night’s song and dance routine berating the FCC had me in tears. I so want to email him and laugh about it with him. Don’t worry, I resisted which is why I am telling you guys instead. Love
The Family Guy!!
Oops…one more thing. Belle is on a short hiatus taking care of Hubby who is recovering from back surgery. Get well soon, Hubby! She also got blog blocked at work so has been unable to post. We sure do miss her though. I will strive to keep you guys entertained in her absence.
Let's go dancing!!
Will I tear up during the One Shining Moment montage (again)? What #12 seed will make it to the Sweet 16? What ridiculous things will Clark ‘Special K’ Kellogg come up with this year? Which #1 seed will choke and lose in the 2nd round? Can Carolina’s youth duplicate last year’s success? Or will J.J. Redick shoot lights out to bring the championship to the *other* North Carolina school? Will this be the year that a #16 knocks off a #1? Who is Oral Roberts? Is Syracuse overrated or just peaking at the right time? Will BC completely bust up my bracket? What is a Saluki? Did Andy Katz curse CT by picking them to win it all? (I love him but he is NEVER right). And, finally, just how many Miller Lites will I consume in the next 4 days? Only time will tell.
The madness is upon us. Welcome to the tourney, baby!
Not sure how much I will be posting during the next few days (see Miller Lite comment above) but get out there and enjoy the tournament, people!
I probably shouldn't be enjoying this
I attended a conservative law school. I am NOT conservative. But, I respect that my law school had a conservative slant so I was not shocked to discover that my law school had selected Claude Allen, a domestic policy advisor to Bush, to be the keynote speaker. I regarded such a selection as inevitable. Hey, at least my parents will like him. I was significantly more concerned with how his speech would affect AKM, my good friend from law school who I spent so much time with that people expressed shock when we were not together. We took almost every class together and studied for finals together. We created incredibly *brilliant* outlines that were legendary among our classmates. Well, maybe not legendary but we were proud of them.
Law school graduation is a strange experience. You are excited to be done with law school but your biggest challenge, the bar exam, is still a few months away. I didn't feel finished with law school until I found out I passed the bar. But my family had traveled down from the Jerz to commemorate this event and I tried to put the bar exam out of my mind for that day.
Enter our graduation speaker. Claude Allen spoke for approximately 20 minutes about the war in Iraq, the need to spread democracy by force if necessary, stem cell research, judicial activism, and oh, yeah, how effing hard the bar exam is. In no uncertain terms, he told us that not all of us would pass the bar exam. Thanks, buddy. Not only do I passionately disagree with you making this graduation into a stump speech for Bush's policies but you are raining on my "don't think about the bar exam" parade. I finally tuned him out and started to think about the food waiting for me back at my apartment. When the speech ended, Allen received only lukewarm applause. Even our Dean looked stunned as he returned to the podium. Finally, it was time to receive our diplomas. My name was called, I walked across the stage slightly wobbly in my heels, shook the Dean's hand and there stood Claude Allen. I shook his hand politely and met his gaze. "Study hard", he warned me. I smiled one of those insincere smiles and my hand fell from his grasp.
Well, imagine my glee to find out that this man who ruined my law school graduation has not only resigned from the Bush Administration but was arrested last week on felony theft charges! Apparently, he purchased items from Target, loaded them into his car, went back in with the receipts, loaded those same items back into his cart and then returned them to the store. He was returning goods that he never bought. You can read all about it
here.
Yep, I am definitely enjoying this.
And so I laugh
This week has been a pretty good week for me. I have been holding fast to my Lenten promise and focusing on myself. I found a kickass yoga studio right near my apartment. I went to my first class Wednesday night. Now, I had done yoga in the past but my previous studio focused on breathing and relaxation…very hippie-esque. I never left feeling like I had *worked out*, but I enjoyed the stress relieving aspects of yoga. So, since stress is rampant in my life these days, I thought returning to the practice of yoga was a good idea. And it was! The class was intense. I loved every second of it. As I struggled to maintain a challenging pose, staring intently at a spot on the floor so as not to fall over and with sweat beads dripping down my forehead, I felt like myself. I reconnected with the part of me that had been gone for so long. I smiled the kind of smile that starts deep inside and can’t be contained. I hadn’t smiled one of those in a while. My instructor looked at me a little funny as I struggled before her with this goofy grin on my face. When the class ended, I signed up for more sessions and practically skipped home. I went to bed, feeling relaxed and content and so gosh darn proud of myself. I woke up feeling the same way, but also rather sore!!
Yesterday morning, I spent a little over three hours bagging groceries for the poor people of Washington, D.C. I worked alongside a woman whose enthusiasm for life was contagious. She hugged me when she met me and gave me an even bigger hug when I left. We worked well together sending the residents on their way with bags teeming with groceries. We chatted a bit while we worked and at one point after a rush of residents left me nearly exhausted, she turned to me and said “Your husband must be so proud of you.” I laughed and said “Oh, I don’t have a husband.” And she said, “Well, I know for a fact God has a great one waiting for you.” I fought back tears because I didn’t realize how much I needed to hear that. This stranger had more faith and confidence in God’s plan for me right now than I did. I have always been told, and I have believed, that God works in mysterious ways. Today He sent me a little sign, asking me to take a cue from this woman I had just met and put my faith back in Him.
The other thing I have been told is that God has a sense of humor. I came home from the food pantry this morning and prepared for the baby shower I had this afternoon. The weather in DC is gorgeous right now so, with that same goofy grin on my face, I reached for my new yellow skirt. All I had to do was run to the Container Store and pick up a gift bag. I got dressed and set out, remarking to myself just how beautiful this day was and how great I felt. Just as I turned a corner in the yuppie shopping center, TH’s 4-runner came barreling around a turn. (As an aside, what kind of environmental scientist drives a huge, gas guzzling SUV? And maybe it wasn’t really *barreling* per se but it is so big and scary, I feel *barreling* is the most appropriate choice). New Girlfriend was in the passenger seat but I couldn’t see her face. TH and I made eye contact briefly and then he looked away. He then looked back at me. Excruciatingly uncomfortable but at least he was in his car and we didn’t have to talk. And the best part was I looked GOOD. I thought about that chance encounter for the new few hours as I sat through a baby shower. (Another aside, when you run into your ex and his new girlfriend, attending a baby shower is really where you want to spend your afternoon.) We have established that I believe in signs and this encounter was just another way of God reminding me that TH is not the guy for me. I don’t think I have hope that we will get back together and everything will be peachy again but maybe deep down I do. So, I need these little reminders from God to not dwell on that hope and to let TH go. He is her problem now.
Fast forward a few hours. I head out for the night to a fun dinner with friends downtown. As I am walking to the metro, I notice that Arlington is hopping. The all day drink fest meant that the bars in Arlington were teeming with people at 7:00 pm. I had a fleeting thought as I walked by the bars about the possibility of running into TH again. I knew he was going to the drink fest so it was a possibility. But I laughed to myself and thought at least I had gotten that out of the way earlier today. Yes, readers, you can see where this is going. I boarded the metro car at my usual spot and the car reeked of beer. I found a seat in the middle of the car and looked around cautiously. And then I saw the backs of Wayne and Penn State Fan. I then saw the back of TH’s head, and right next to it, the back of New Girlfriend’s head. They were canoodling. I know, who uses that word? But that is what they were doing. Practically making out. Awesome. I decided to be the bigger person and approach Wayne and PSF. We chatted for a few minutes, it was weird and awkward, and I wound up getting off the train three stops too early. The group was headed to the same stop I was and I just couldn’t deal with actually having to talk to TH.
Who runs into her ex-boyfriend with his new girlfriend TWICE in one day? That really is just too much. God’s sense of humor was in full force yesterday. Sometimes you just have to let yourself laugh along with Him.
Go Deacs Part Deux
YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We beat NC State. This was a more traditional Wake Forest type of victory - go up big and then hang on through the 2nd half. Too bad Miami could not have finished off Duke for us. No disrespect to Miami, of course, they put up quite a fight against Duke and they would have surely done the same against us. Duke poses a mental block against us and I hope we can rise to the challenge.
GO DEACS!!!!!!!!!!
Now, where to watch the game tomorrow...
Go Deacs!
Don't be surprised that I am posting about basketball. This is easily my most *favoritest* time of year! I should just take vacation around this time because I rarely get any work done. Yesterday, the Deacons upset Florida State in the first round of the ACC Tournament. I followed the game on CBSSportsline, which, for fellow fans out there, updates significantly faster than ESPN. That site also has something called a GameLog which provides the running commentary I miss from my friends when I am watching the game at work. Although at one point, the writer of the Glog said
Wake Forest really needs to get it together. What an insight. If only the team could figure out what
it is!
Now, I know I shouldn't get too excited about this win - Wake will not be going to the NCAA tournament (barring a miracle). But I like that we are coming out fighting - our team showed a lot of heart yesterday. We were down the entire game, often by ten points, but the team refused to give up. They mounted a great comeback in the last four minutes of the game and won the game by 12 points. That refusal to give up makes me incredibly proud to be a Deacon fan. We had such a hard time getting past the four point barrier. We would close to within 4 points and then commit the most ridiculous turnover...Granted, I wasn't watching the game but in my head, I saw our team essentially handing the ball to Al Thornton of FSU and saying
"Down by 4! Feels close enough...here you guys have the ball...we will even get out of your way as you drive to the basket".This happened numerous times but we kept fighting. We overcame the 4 point deficit and opened up our own lead. Maybe if I had actually watched the game, I wouldn't be waxing poetic about it as much. But how else do you hang around in a game without throwing in the towel? You gotta have heart. Today at 2:30 pm, we take on our *rival*, N.C. State. Who knows what will happen - I just hope we come out swinging.
If you follow the ACC at all, you know that there are two divisions in the conference, Atlantic and Coastal. Real creative names, huh? Well, a friend of mine suggested an alternative division of the conference: Beer and Wine. The Beer schools: Virginia Tech, Florida State, Clemson, Miami, Maryland, N.C. State. The Wine schools: Duke, UNC, UVA, Boston College, Wake. (I can't quite place Georgia Tech...the Tech part makes me think Beer but something about the fans make me wonder if it isn't more Wine). Tailgating at Wake involves wearing a strapless sundress and heels, sipping chardonnay and nibbling on cheese and crackers. Seriously. The fraternity tailgates have beer and (if you are lucky, potato wedges) but the guys wear ties. TIES! I used to think it was weird but I love it.
I've been to a few tailgates at Penn State with Wayne and the rest of the Penn State fans. And, yes, it is nice to wear jeans and a t-shirt that says I Bleed Blue and White, drink Bud Select and dine on potato chips...but I went to a Wine school. I like the tradition of getting dressed up and treating the tailgate as an occasion in and of itself. Because that is what it is at Wake - it is a TRADITION. Just like playing each game with a lot of heart. And while some traditions may make us an object of ridicule by my Penn State friends, I stand by them. And the Demon Deacons. Bring on the Wolfpack!!
Employment Update
So Hubby has accepted a Government Job! Our life has already changed for the better...his notice is in at LifeSucker, and he has not received any new assignments to date. So his work load has decreased and his attitude and demeanor have changed drastically. He is once again the person I first fell in love with...laid-back, happy and FREE. It's wonderful.
So now the search begins for me. I have been putting off finding something until we knew for sure we were staying in the City. I have NO IDEA what to do. But the Clerkship unfortunately ends in August, and thre real world beckons.
Before law school, I thought I'd do something policy-related. I thought I might work for a non-profit. Or a government agency. But in law school, they somehow convince you that if you do well, you go work for a firm. And usually a big one. Now, I have been through enough with Hubby to know for sure that BFL is not for me. But what about a smaller one? With decent hours and great mentors? I feel like if I don't at least TRY practicing law for a little while, I am somehow "selling out". But I really don't think I'll like "practicing" in the traditional sense. Did the career services office really indoctrinate me with the firm stuff, or am I selling out by not giving it a try? Comments, please!
Just Friends
I have this *friend*, Evan B., from back in the Jerz. I emphasize the word friend because we have an interesting friendship. We became good friends the summer before we left for our respective colleges. EB was heading up to CT and I was taking the plunge and heading down south (a move that, he told me later, changed me dramatically and not all for the better). He wanted to start running and I had run throughout high school so we started spending our evenings together running. That summer, we forged a bond that years later, despite our ups and downs, has kept us close.
Our friendship was on hiatus for awhile because sometimes male-female friendships get complicated. I still can’t answer the age-old question of whether men and women can be just friends. I honestly believe it is tricky business. I used to have a great guy friend, Wayne, that was my roommate for over 2 years. We were inseperable. He was hands down my closest friend while we were living together. I think one of the keys to our friendship was that we were both single. He knew that he was the most important guy in my life and he made me feel like I was the most important girl in his. Then, I started dating TH, coincidentally our other roommate and Wayne’s best friend from high school. Then Wayne started dating someone and our friendship fell by the wayside. Now, that I am no longer with TH, I never see Wayne anymore. Friendships, just like other relationships, require work and effort to be maintained. I think fundamentally women are better at maintaining friendships than men. Feel free to disagree with me but my experience has convinced me this is true.
Okay, back to EB. Our friendship is currently *on again*. And although he drives me absolutely crazy at times, I know that he will always be there for me. When TH and I first started having problems, one of the people I turned to was EB. Insight into the male psyche proves critical during relationship woes. Through tears, I gave EB the details and what he said to me was the best advice I could receive. (as an aside, I didn’t take EB’s advice right away…although it was genius). You see, EB and TH have an awful lot in common. Both have a deep seeded fear of commitment, both want what they can’t have and both care about me a great deal (each in their own way). Thankfully, EB showed his feelings for me by giving me advice about kicking TH to the curb and never letting him back in my life again. It took a few months for the advice to really stick but I finally relented and am doing as I was told by my oldest friend.
All this background about EB is simply to set up the email exchange we had earlier this morning. He is living it up as a NYC playboy...okay, *playboy* might be a bit of a stretch but he is enjoying his life as a single guy in the big city. He told me recently of a girl named Nancy he was pursuing. Immediately, I recalled the mystery novels I pored through while in the 6th grade and dubbed this new love interest Nancy Drew. This past weekend, EB had plans to be severely intoxicated so I inquired this morning as to how things went with Nancy Drew:
Jersey:
hope you survived your saturday drinking fest. was nancy drew there? has she found the secret entrance to the pirate's cave?EB:
I’ve moved past nancy drew. no return on the emotional investment. got some others in the queue, but nothing serious. saturday was a mess. absolute mess. Jersey:
i love that you just called it 'the queue'.EB:
i thought the English spin would dress it up nicer than saying, I got some other bitches I’m working on. Ladies, if you would like to reserve a place in line for EB's affections, feel free to email me and I will pass along your stats to EB. Oh, EB, thank you for that much needed laugh.
Monday musings
I woke up surprisingly refreshed for a Monday this morning. I think it was because I had a virtually alcohol free weekend. My mom came to visit my sister and me. Which meant yummy dinners out and new clothes. Love my mom!! So, I had fun. And I think my mom did as well. I think she would be happier if my sister and I were, as she puts it, *more settled*. Neither of us are married and while she is by no means hurrying us, her concern is palpable. My parents got married in their 30s so most of their friends have grandchildren already. Sigh. It is not as if I am turning away suitors just to spite my mother. This is also the same woman who rarely has positive things to say about the guys my sister and I date. She *loved* TH, though. When I didn’t receive a birthday present on my actual birthday, she told me that since TH had a demanding job and was also in school, I should be more understanding. &%*$ that. His birthday fell during prime bar exam studying time and I had his presents a week in advance and took the whole weekend off from studying to honor the day he graced the world with his presence. In the immortal words of Will Smith, sometimes parents just don’t understand.
Another of the weekend’s highlights was Book Club. This month’s selection: Pride and Prejudice. We dined on tea sandwiches and scones, while the BBC classic played in the background. Oh, that Mr. Darcy. Watching him *propose* to Elizabeth Bennett is truly touching with a degree of ridiculousness thrown in for good measure. He seems so angry at her because he fell in love with her -
Dang you, Elizabeth Bennett! Your family is SO beneath mine but I just can’t get you out of my head so we must get married before I go insane. Ok, not his EXACT proposal but I think I capture the gist. Gotta love it.
Wake Forest basketball brought me some surprising joy this weekend - pulling off an upset of N.C. State. While this win does nothing for our season, I am glad that my fave, Justin Gray, went out with a win. He deserved it. Now if we can just run the table this weekend at the ACC tournament…..a girl can dream, right? Go Deacs!
Don't say it...!
I know that I'm closer to my Mother than the average 27 year old. Although we live 537.02 miles apart (no, I didn't know that off the top of my head) we talk every day. At least once. Usually more.
My parents divorced when I was 7. So Mom, and my two sisters, were the ones I came to depend on in my daily life. We were always close, but sometime during my freshman year of college, I suddenly realized how much she had done for me. And how much I wanted to do for her.
Actually, I remember the moment exactly. About a week after arriving on campus, I came home from class to find my dorm room empty for the first time. My high school friend, and now college roommate, was in class. I sat on my twin bed, in our room that would have looked identical if it were split down the middle. I was probably a little homesick...but two things hit me all at once:
1) I didn't want to be here. I didn't belong here! I wanted to go to law school...I shouldn't have partied so much in high school. I needed to be in a better college. I was smarter than this! (I then spent the first two years of college working to get out...)
2) My Mother has done more for me than I ever realized! How did she feed, clothe, educate and nurture 3 daughters on her own, while not only working full time, but while holding down one of the most respected jobs in our state? I suddenly realized that although I could hardly take care of myself, she was responsible for so much more. How did she ever have time to pick up the drycleaning?
It was then that I realized that I wanted to do right by her. That I at least owed her my best try. I think she is proud of me now, and I am so proud of her. But what I never considered, until recently, is that I might someday turn *into* her. And it scares me. Now, I mean this in the nicest possible way. My Mom is a wonderful and kind human being. She is eerily intelligent, gracious and loving. But, like everyone, she has her idiosyncrasies.
Like singing aloud for no apparent reason. And not only does she enjoy belting it out to no one, but she often makes up her own words...to familiar tunes. Just the other day, I caught myself singing some version of the Sunday School favorite "Zaccheus was a wee little man, and a wee little man was he..." to my 7 month old mutt, Deacon. Only I changed the words to "the Deacers was a wee little pup, and a wee little pup was he. He jumped up in his Mommy's lap for the treat he wanted to eat..." Yes. I know. I am embarrassing myself.
But WHAT causes me to do this? Why am I picking up her little habits? And why are more and more of these things starting to show up, the older I get? Am I going to become my Mother?????
Take that, J. Crew
A recent email exchange between Belle and Jersey regarding the ridiculousness that has become J. Crew:
jersey: i am boycotting J.Crew. which is unfortunate for me, since their clothes fit me so well. i discovered last night while perusing the third catalog i have received in as many weeks that they now make flower girl dresses. seriously?? a bride can now outfit her entire wedding party in apparel from J.Crew. what's next - bridal gowns by l.l. bean, complete with matching duck boots?
belle: HAHA. Yes, that is SO TRUE about J.Crew. Used to love it. Now, can't afford it. I DO get like 800 catalogs a year. If they saved money by allowing trees to live, as opposed to becoming another page in a preppy catalog, they could have the same clothes for half the price.
jersey: remember when it was all roll neck sweaters and pocket tees? now it is beaded cashmere cardigans and critter chinos.
belle: WHO BUYS those critter chinos? I have never seen anyone wear them. Ever.
jersey: a girl who went to my law school had a pair. they were the original critter chinos. khaki with the green turtles. something about being an adult and owning a pair of pants that have miniature schnauzers sewn into them is, frankly, just not okay. i just checked online and i think they've stopped making them. or maybe they are a summer only thing? in about 85 catalogs from now, we will have our answer.
belle: they were in last summer’s catalog, so i doubt it. No critters for me, except Deacs.
jersey: a cute gold skirt with little deacon heads all over it? or perhaps just little 'wf's? so much better than mini lobsters.
belle: maybe we should patent the idea to sell to WFU. You know Charlotte [our mutual friend who works for our alma mater] would buy them!
jersey: yes, she would. i think perhaps black chino skirt with gold 'wf's is the best option. while the deacon is an endearing figure to all wake forest fans, to outsiders, he is sometimes viewed as 'creepy old man' or 'scrooge from the xmas carol'.
belle: We could make them for all of the ACC and SEC schools. I freely admit that Southerners are the only people dumb enough to wear them. If we sell them for J.Crew prices, they'd go for about $150 per skirt/shorts. Long pants are more: $175? But the great J.Crew customer service makes it all worth it. Except when they go on sale. "If it ends in '.99' it's NOT RETURNABLE". ugh...
And it begins
I made a final decision on what to give up for Lent this year: boys! Now, I am not switching teams or anything but I decided to give up worrying, over-analyzing, stressing, and spending countless hours discussing what they do (or don't do as is so often the case). In the spirit of this Lenten resolution, I even emailed TH this morning a conciliatory note to apologize for this past weekend's drunk dial (I know, Generic, you want more specifics). I hoped to put the animosity behind me so I can spend the next 40 days working on myself. Which is what I need to be doing. I need to get back in touch with the person I was before my identity was linked to Treehugger. That person was kind, smart, confident and fun to be around. I want to be her again.
I didn't have to wait long for a challenge to my Lenten promise to myself. Tomorrow is the Editrix's birthday celebration. Nothing too raucous, just drinks at a local dive bar. TH was purposefully not invited but a significant number of our mutual friends were invited. One mutual friend, Penn State Fan, told the Editrix that TH had inquired of him as to the weekend's plans. PSF told TH that the plan was to celebrate the Editrix's birthday and, seeing as the Editrix is one of my best friends and my attendance is a given, TH would probably not want to join us. The Editrix immediately forwarded this information along to me, asking me how I wanted her to respond. A few emails exchanged between all parties resulted in the confirmation I had been fearing: TH indeed has a new girlfriend.
I really am struggling with this information. In the back of my mind, I've known since the encounter that this was probably the case. And I so want to act like it doesn't bother me as all my friends tell me it shouldn't. But it does. It hurts a lot. All reason goes out the window when you hurt like this. I hear people saying things like "It is not going to last" and "It is just a rebound thing" and "You deserve so much better". And the part of my brain that reasons like an attorney seizes these tidbits and holds fast to them. But they offer little comfort to my heart, which hurts so much at the thought of him with someone else.
I close my eyes to fight back the tears and clench my fists.
This too shall pass, I repeat to myself at my desk. I am trying to stick to my Lenten promise and not stress or think about this because thinking about it only puts me more in touch with the pain of all this.
Going Lawya On Ya
So apparently we aren't the only ones with a distaste for the life of a modern lawyer. At least TWICE in the past week, I have heard stories of people losing it, due solely to the rigors of law firm life. I mean, losing it. (I wonder if anyone has ever done a study on how many attorneys require counseling, medication, or a looney bin to sort out the feelings of guilt, anxiety and failure that, in my experience, are inevitable in
BFL.)
I know one guy whose near perfect marriage is now on the rocks, because his wife, a non-lawyer, does not understand what he's going through. Not only does she not understand, but she BLAMES him for being so absent. I know multiple attorneys who have lost (or gained) massive amounts of weight in short periods of time due solely to the stress of the job. Almost all BFL's I know are pale, gaunt and hollow-eyed. It is a sad, sad life.
That is why I love getting emails like the one Jersey forwarded me this morning, from a friend of a friend. It was sent yesterday...to the "bigwigs" in a Big city firm:
I am writing this on my cell phone, inside of a Greyhound bus on my way out of town. It's a beautiful day, though a little chilly. I am glad to be free of the old 'dungeon' once and for all. The 'dungeon' - hundreds of temp and contract attorneys and legal assistants have passed through Swank Law Firm over the past few years, and most of us will always associate our time on the first floor with some medieval torture room.
This is to inform you of my resignation which is effective immediately. I have done nothing whatsoever to assist in the smooth transfer of my responsibilities before leaving, nor have I given notice. This firm treats people like commodities (at least on the first floor). Thus I will treat you as a commodity, reflecting the proper nature of business on the first floor. I leave without warning and in the middle of several important projects. Thanks for the money bitches. I am finished with your greedy, lazy, manipulative, and outright vicious work "ethic." I am done with the Elvis billing scam. I am done with Second in Command’s bi-polar disorder. I am done with ignorant people who do not have enough sense to provide a decent working environment and stable jobs for their employees.
My absence will not affect much of the day-to-day operations. I am replaceable, as everyone is. But so is this firm. I won't even bother putting the past two years and two months on my resume. Two years and two months of grueling, boring 60-90 hour weeks, begging for raises, being publicly humiliated on a regular basis, threatened with being fired if I worked less than 84 hours a week (as everyone on the first floor is currently being threatened with), and watching normal, sane and good people crack up one by one. I have communicated my concerns to individuals on the third and fourth floors since [previous employee]’s departure. I have not seen a single change. I am much happier going back to the life of a starving artist than slaving for you assholes.
I came to work here expecting to find possible entry into law school. I want nothing to do with lawyers ever again.
I pray to God that you rot in hell.Maybe some day soon, children across the land will talk about "going lawya on ya"...
